People Involved: Step 2 of the 8-Steps to Wedding Planning

Step 2 isn’t groundbreaking stuff, but it’s an important chunk of Wedding Planning. This post is about the people you choose to be involved in your special day and the different ways you can involve them.

We’ll then move onto Researching Wedding Venues in Step 3, Food and Drinks in Step 4 and Wedding Suppliers in Step 5.

Step 2 & 3 go hand-in-hand so feel free to mix up the order and prioritise by what matters to you most (whether it’s a particular venue - which will determine the amount of guests you are able to invite, or a list of people who have to be there - where you’ll need to find a venue that can accommodate your numbers). Everybody is different, so start with what feels right.

Roles and Duties in a Wedding
If you have particular friends and family who you would like play key roles in your wedding day there are numerous ways you can involve them. The number of roles is up to you and will mainly depend on the amount of potential candidates and what your budget allows.

Your job is to select the best people for the roles - so don’t feel obliged to ask anybody.

Also, don’t expect anybody to guess their duties - the easiest thing to do is to run through what is expected of them beforehand. For example it’s probably your Best Man’s first time being a Best Man and you don’t want him or you to feel like he has let you down - because that would be horrible. It’s just easier to let everybody know where they stand at the beginning.

Best Man
duties include…
helping the Groom choose the Ushers
ensuring the Ushers understand their duties
helping the Bride and Groom choose the Groom’s, Best Man’s and Ushers’ suits
attending suit fittings
organising the stag party
writing and practising the speech
offering support to the couple throughout the wedding planning
visiting the wedding venues with the couple beforehand to run through the day
attending the wedding rehearsal
assisting the Groom with anything he needs on the day
helping the groom get ready on the morning of the wedding
transporting the Groom to the wedding venue (allowing plenty of time)
responsible for the Ushers (ensuring they are in the right places, dressed correctly and completing their duties)
overseeing that button holes, corsages and the order of service sheets are distributed by the Ushers
taking care of the wedding rings
looking after the certificate of banns or wedding licence
settling any outstanding fees on the day (money organised beforehand by the Bride and Groom)
standing with the Groom at the altar while he waits for his bride
acting as an official witness
escorting the Maid of Honour out of the ceremony
assisting the photographer by rounding up family members and friends for photos
directing guests from the ceremony to the reception venue
standing in the receiving line to greet guests on arrival
mingling with guests, ensuring that everyone is having a good time
offering drinks to guests
delivering the Best Man speech
reading out messages to the couple from guests
looking out for and resolving any issues that occur on the day so that everybody remains happy
coordinating suppliers and ensuring they are happy
preparing the Bride and Groom’s car for when they leave
arranging for the Groom’s suit and wedding gifts to be taken home

Maid of Honour/Chief Bridesmaid
duties include…
assisting and advising the Bride as much as possible with the wedding planning
supporting the Bride at all times
responsible for Bridesmaids, Flower Girl(s) and Page Boy(s) (ensuring they are in the right places, dressed correctly and completing their duties)
helping the Bride choose her dress
helping the Bride choose the Bridesmaids’ dresses
attending dress fittings
organising the hen do
attending the wedding rehearsal
ensuring that the Bride looks her best on the day
carrying emergency supplies, such as tissues, make up, hair clips and safety pins
arranging the Bride’s veil and dress before and during the wedding ceremony
looking after the Bride’s bouquet during the ceremony
acting as an official witness
standing in the receiving line to greet guests on arrival
mingling with guests, ensuring that everyone is having a good time
helping the Bride change into her evening dress
arranging for the Bride’s dress and wedding gifts to be taken home

Giver-Away (traditionally the Father of the Bride)
duties include…
attending suit fittings
writing and practising the speech
attending the wedding rehearsal
escorting the Bride down the aisle
giving the Bride away during the ceremony
escorting the Mother of the Bride out of the ceremony
standing in the receiving line to greet guests on arrival with the Bride’s Mother
delivering the first speech
proposing the first toast

Bridesmaid(s)
duties include…
helping the Bride choose the Bridesmaids’ dresses
attending fittings
helping the Bride at all times
attending the wedding rehearsal
following the Maid of Honour up the aisle
following the Maid of Honour and Best Man out out of the ceremony
helping the Bride with her dress throughout the day
welcoming guests
offering drinks to guests
distributing pieces of wedding cake to guests
looking after younger Bridesmaids

Flower Girl(s)
duties include…
attending dress fittings
attending the wedding rehearsal
scattering flower petals from a basket up the aisle for the bride to walk on

Page Boy(s)
duties include…
attending suit fittings
attending the wedding rehearsal
following the Maid of Honour up the aisle
following the Maid of Honour and Best Man out out of the ceremony
distributing pieces of wedding cake to guests

Usher(s)
duties include…
attending suit fittings
attending the wedding rehearsal
helping the Best Man throughout the day
escorting the Bridesmaids during the day
coordinating car parking and directing guests into the venue
greeting guests on arrival and escorting them to their seats
handing out the order of service sheets
offering buttonholes and corsages to guests
dealing with disturbances discreetly
being armed with umbrellas to shelter guests if raining
directing guests to the reception venue after the ceremony
checking that nothing is left behind by guests at the ceremony
clearing up confetti
assisting the photographer by rounding up family members and friends for photos
offering drinks to guests
introducing guests to one another
assisting seating guests for the wedding breakfast
distributing pieces of wedding cake to guests
looking after younger Ushers and Page Boys

Toastmaster (somebody charismatic with a loud voice)
duties include…
announcing when the wedding breakfast is going to be served
introducing the speeches
introducing the cutting of the cake

Other ways to involve friends and family
- Ask somebody confident to give a reading during the ceremony
- Ask any Singers/Musicians you know to play during the service or reception
- Helping the Bride and Groom plan the wedding
- Ring Bearer
- Witness (you’ll need 2)
- Guest

Not enough roles? You could be a bit creative and make some up!

“Do I need a Wedding Planner?”
Firstly, this 8 step process is really a D.I.Y guide to wedding planning, recommending steps that will overlap with the services included by wedding planners. However, this doesn’t mean that wedding planning services don’t exist - so we shouldn’t ignore them.

The main reasons for hiring a wedding planner are:
- if you don’t have the time to organise the wedding yourself
- if organising doesn’t come naturally
- if your budget allows
- if you are planning a long-distance wedding, selecting a local wedding planner near the area you are getting married will make your lives easier

Wedding planners can do as much or as little as you wish and their services typically include: creative ideas, event planning, venue finding, sourcing suppliers, support, expert advice and able to answer any questions, event management.

Although hiring a wedding planner will come at a cost - a decent wedding planner should be able to negotiate better rates, introduce you to tried and tested suppliers and save you a lot of time!

Putting together the Guest List
This part, is where you are going to have to compromise - it is likely that you won’t be able to invite everybody! The amount of guests will depend on the size of your budget, the venue’s capacity, the type of wedding your organising (whether it is big and formal or small and intimate) and the amount of friends and family you have.

Ideally the ratio of guests will be a 50/50 split, half of the Groom’s family and friends and half of the Brides - but it doesn’t always pan out like that.

In a spreadsheet (saved in your wedding folder) construct a guest list starting with the wedding party (key roles and their other halves - mentioned above).

Then make a list of…
- who you first told about being engaged
- use the guest list from the engagement party/drinks
- close family
- close friends
- colleagues
- friends
- neighbours
- relatives

In the spreadsheet, add two extra columns (Ceremony & Wedding Breakfast - Evening Reception) and tick which parts of the wedding you would like to invite the guests to.

For now you are just putting a list together. You won’t be able to decide how many guests to invite exactly until you know the capacity of the venue. When it comes to cutting down the size of the list, this is where you are both going to need to compromise. If you need to cut the list down, you could look at not inviting workmates, guests’ partners, babies or young children.

Last thing, if you have parents who are likely to create a fuss about who should be on the guest list - get them involved from the beginning and ask them to also construct a guest list. Warn them that you obviously won’t be able to invite everybody on their list because you will be restricted on numbers - but you will try your best. This will not only help you avoid missing anybody crucial, but they will also feel involved and there is bound to be some of the same people on your list and theirs.

We’ll look at Researching Venues and sending a Save The Date Card in the next post: Step 3. In the meantime, if you have created any special roles for your wedding, or have any methods for putting together a guest list, please share with the readers in the comments!